Some seasons teach you things you didn't sign up to learn.

This was one of them. ↓

Do you remember the book “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie”? It was a favorite of all three of my boys! It’s about an mouse who gets a cookie which leads essentially to a chain reaction of demands. Well, last week I had to have a hysterectomy. Let me tell you… there’s never a good time for a mom to have a major surgery or surrender control, so sometimes life just picks one for you (How about the busiest time of the year?!)…and thus the chain reaction.

The morning of….a text from my neighbor of our busted sprinkler geyser in front of the house, flat tire/nail in my tire, hail damage assessors at the door constantly from the previous night’s storm, and our 70 lb. dog needing to go the vet for an ear infection (didn’t even know this was a thing!). The next 72 hours, my son got an ear infection (yes - him and the dog both had one!), my husband had to leave town for his grandma’s sudden passing and funeral across the country and leave me behind with the kids, all end of year school projects are due and the list goes on but I’ll spare you 🙂 Why am I sharing this? Because if you’ve ever experienced it ALL happening at once, it’s real. and it does. BUT somehow amidst the crazy, ridiculousness of the poor timing of things in life, I am reminded that God still holds it all together.

A few things I learned worth sharing…

When it rains, it pours — and the storm might be the thing that finally breaks your pride. There's no escaping the ask for help when everything hits at once. And it’s amazing how help can actually feel so helpful when you allow it.

It's okay to feel, and it's okay not to feel. Before surgery, I felt everything — grief, sadness, the weight of a season of motherhood I'd imagined closing. Afterwards? Those emotions seized. Just quiet. Stillness. Relief. And then overwhelm with all the things happening at home. The range of emotions were all valid and worthy of being felt.

Get to the root. You'll exhaust yourself trying to bandage something that has a root issue. Sometimes the most courageous thing is to uproot the problem - and often times this requires relinquishing some sense of control. I didn’t want to have this surgery but had tried to bandaid it with so many patches over the last year.

When you let people in, you give them the gift of showing up. We told a few close friends what was happening — just enough to get help with rides and logistics. I was floored by the blessings. Homemade meals. My favorite coffee and donut. Watercolor sets and popcorn and a fiction book I'd been wanting to read. Kids taken out of the house on the mornings I was alone. Kind notes. Dropping of prescriptions and mail. Friends showing up in a dozen different ways that I never would have experienced if I'd never let them in.

Your kids are more capable than you think. Three rowdy boys, the wild dog (and all the things boys do- pretty sure that nail in the tire came from a “backyard fun project”….just saying) still happened. But so did coffee made for me, breakfast in bed, dinner set up, kitchen clean up, and a flexibility I didn't know they had.

Learning — again — that I can't always do, prove, strive, perform. Sometimes the best thing I can do is just be. Give up control. Surrender. Allow life to unfold and allow people in.

→ Get the recipe

We sat down with Jimmy & Kelly Needham to talk about experiencing God for ourselves plus some insights on friendship — real, in-the-flesh, show-up-in-your-life friendship. In case you missed it…

Your spouse can't carry it all. Not because they're not a great partner. But because they were never designed to meet every need you have as a human.

And here's the part that hit harder: most of us, in our sense of loneliness, aren't actually lacking people. We're lacking honesty in our relationships. We want to feel known and supported, but we're not always willing to say what's really going on. We wait to be noticed. We hope someone checks in. We assume people can read between the lines.

They can't.

Real community isn't built on proximity or history. It's built on presence, honesty, and a willingness to be known.

So: Who are you people in this season? And are you actually letting them in?

One last thing…

Who can you let in to one small piece of your life this week?

Not the whole thing. Just one small piece. See what happens.

Until next time 🙂

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